


A Mis-stake

by Evitcani



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire, Candlenights Request, Fluff, M/M, Vampire Bar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-29
Updated: 2017-12-29
Packaged: 2019-02-23 16:48:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13194375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evitcani/pseuds/Evitcani
Summary: A little thrill and much more misunderstanding.A short Candlenights gift. Enjoy!





	A Mis-stake

Things were changing. Johann knew that few things could remain the same, but he still couldn’t quite wrap his head around it. He signaled to the barman as he sat down. It was early in the night and there were still few people in. 

The barman went over to him, drying a glass. “You’re new,” he greeted with a little smile. “Do you know our menu?”

Johann glanced up, hoping there would be a board of drinks. There was none and he figured that would be his luck. “N-no,” he answered softly, bowing his head.

The barman leaned forward, leaflet suddenly in hand. “You’ll want the yellow for new. Once you find someone for sure, switch it to the blue. If things end up not working out after you drink the blue, come see one of the staff right away,” he explained easily. It was reassuring and made Johann feel less out of place. “After you drink the blue, it can be very dangerous not to get drunk yourself,” the barman winked, brushing a strand of hair behind his ear and flashing his sharp teeth. 

Pronounced canines behind crimson painted lips. Black, serrated claws should have given him away at first glance, but he was handsome with a face kinder than he expected. Sharp and angular and dressed evocatively yet still—. 

This man wasn’t what Johann expected a vampire to look like.

He dropped his eyes to the leaflet of drinks. They were labeled by colors. None except the ‘ _White – Not Interested_ ’ were alcoholic. His hand paused over the ‘ _Orange – Wants a Thrill_ ’. He pursed his lips. “A rootbeer, orange,” he said softly. 

That’s why he’d come at all, wasn’t it?

The barman paused, eyes scanning over Johann critically. Johann wanted to sink into his chair, shoulders hunching. “New and already wanting danger,” he tsked and leaned forward, palm in his hand with a little smile that made Johann’s heart flutter. “My bartender is running late. No more than another hour. Name’s Brian and I can give you a thrill, darling.”

Swallowing thickly, Johann found himself nodding. “Yeah I’d love—. That’s fine,” he nodded again with a nervous laugh and felt his hands were too clumsy. He crossed and uncrossed them. “I’m Johann, Brian,” he added softly. 

Brian slid him the ‘ _Blue – Taken_ ’ – just water in a blue glass – and dropped something into it with a pleased grin. It fizzed and dissolved into nothing. “Take your time with it, Johann. Not too much. You need to show me you drank three glasses before we’re allowed to leave,” he warned with a wag of his finger. He was off to tend to other patrons before Johann could think of anything to say.

Johann sniffed at his drink suspiciously, but there was nothing weird about it. It tasted like – well – water. Maybe a little sweet. He popped in one earbud and brought up a rhythm game on his phone to play while he waited, sipping his water. Brian did no more than peek at his phone curiously and refill his glass twice. The bar was quickly as busy as Johann was used to seeing when he passed it on the street, always looking in through a window with glass painted to look like a sharp-toothed mouth with lips as red as Brian’s. 

“Hour’s up.”

Johann startled and reflexively shut off his game. Brian laughed musically and sat on the stool next to his, leaning an elbow on the bar. Another bartender was buzzing around patrons, having taken Brian’s place. “Still aren’t finished, I see,” he said with a pointed glance at the glass of water. 

“Sorry, let me—.” Johann smiled awkwardly and slipped his phone into his pocket. He gulped the last of his glass down obediently. “It’s okay if you leave so early in the night?”

“Wasn’t even supposed to work tonight,” Brian snorted with a little wave of his hand and put a it over Johann’s gently. “Are you sure you want to leave so early in the night?” 

“Absolutely,” Johann swore and glanced away, getting to his feet. “Your place, I assume?”

Brian’s face danced with an emotion Johann couldn’t place, but then he smiled and took Johann’s hand. “Eager,” he complimented and tugged Johann towards the back instead of the front door. 

Johann decided to go with it. 

The back of the bar was muffled except for the staff moving around and chatting. Brian unlocked a door and flipped on a light. He gestured Johann ahead. “Welcome, welcome,” he smirked as Johann headed down. The stairs led down to a little living area that was sleek, modern. 

This was going a lot faster than Johann had been expecting. 

The door shut and locked behind them. Johann stood in the center of the room, looking at the black furniture, a tarantula safely closed away in an enclosure. No windows, of course. Brian’s arms slide around his waist from behind. Johann leaned into his touch and tilted his head to bare his neck.

“Like a lamb to slaughter,” Brian laughed wickedly and kissed the point of his rapid pulse. Johann squeezed his eyes shut. As Brian’s teeth grazed his skin, Johann realized this was the worst idea he’d ever had. “Where’s your badge, officer?”

Johann felt a jolt of panic and his shoulders went up defensively. “W-what?”

“You’re really not good at undercover,” Brian grinned and tugged Johann backwards until they both fell onto the couch, him in Brian’s lap. He shoved Johann down onto the couch cushions with a hand on the center of his chest. Johann flailed, falling on his back so his knees were over Brian’s thighs, feet awkwardly perched on the arm of the chair. He could feel panic bubbling up his stomach.

This was _really_ not good. 

“A consensual exchange of bodily fluids isn’t breaking any laws, officer,” Brian smirked and walked two fingers up Johann’s chest. “Let’s make a deal. I don’t file _another_ complaint and you never come to my bar again. Sound good?”

Johann looked around, trying to get help from the delicate paintings splashing a touch of purple into the room or maybe the gramophone peeking out of one corner. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he mumbled, putting his hands over Brian’s. 

Brian rolled his eyes and leaned forward. “Mhm,” he sneered and shifted so suddenly Johann had trouble tracking his movement. He straddled Johann’s hips, breath ghosting under his jaw. Johann’s breath hitched somewhere in between realizing he thought it was incredibly attractive and preparing to die. “You really want me to believe you don’t have—.” Johann flinched as Brian jabbed his neck with one of his claws. “Fake blood?” Brian leaned back, frowning and glaring down. 

Johann opened his mouth and looked between the staircase and Brian. Maybe he could bolt. Run as quick as he could, but—. He’d already drank those three glasses. “Is this the thrill?” 

“No, it’s—,” Brian crossed his arms and embarrassment started to creep into his face. “You’re really—. You’re really not a cop?”

“No,” Johann hissed and waved his hands. “Why would a cop even try to seduce you? Does this happen regularly?! I have _so_ many questions!” He realized he’d raised his voice in hysteria and coughed, patting his chest. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to yell.”

“I think ‘s okay considering the circumstances,” Brian murmured and slowly slipped off of him.

“No, no, it’s not okay,” Johann sighed and sat up, staring at the floor. “I should have known this is how my night would go.” He cleared his throat at the prick of tears.

“Oh, darling,” Brian cooed sadly and sat next to him. “Oh, please do not cry. I feel so wretched. Oh. Oh no, darling.” His hands fluttered over Johann’s shoulders comfortingly as Johann felt his traitorous eyes starting to leak. “Hey, c’mon. Tell me what happened.” 

“I-I don’t want to bother you,” Johann groaned, wiping at his face furiously. “I’m okay.”

“Please,” Brian insisted, pulling Johann into his arms. “I’m a bartender. ‘S basically my job.”

Well, Johann thought. He was already never, _ever_ coming back to this bar and maybe talking it out would help. 

“This whole year has been—. M-my therapist said I should try to go out more. That I needed to do the exciting things I wanted to do,” he sniffed and wiped at his face. Brian leaned away and plopped a box of tissues on his lap, arm still around his shoulders. “My sister-in-law is a vampire. I know it’s important that people come to places like this and she said they can be fun. I-I thought I’d try.” He blew his nose and then fidgeted with what to do with the tissue. The three glasses of water at the bar suddenly occurred to him. “Wait, what about the blue?”

“What?” Brian blinked rapidly before realization dawned. “Oh. That was only sugar, darling,” he smiled sweetly, all fangs despite his attempts. “I’m sure that’s not all your worries, but why don’t I treat you another night? On the house of course.” He fluttered his lashes and Johann glanced away. 

It almost felt like Brian was flirting. 

“I’d love—,” he coughed, cutting himself off. “That sounds fun.” 

As usual, Johann wasn’t exactly right. Not about talking about his problems. It turned out that talking it out did help and Brian even had his own worries to share. However, coming back to the bar to see Brian became a bit of a regular event.

**Author's Note:**

> A silly thing I thought I’d share. :)
> 
> Feel free to follow my [Tumblr](https://evitcani-writes.tumblr.com/) or [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Evit_cani).


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